We live in an age of information overload! What remains true also, however, is that sharing ideas can generate energy and synergy, and if you get one good new idea a week, this is an important gift. The references here will be to literature, events and ideas that you may sometimes find useful.

September 2017

I would like to introduce you to an exceptionally helpful eBook for parents and professionals – How to Connect with Your Child – which can be purchased on Amazon.

Below is the foreword I was honored to write.

“It is rare to come across a book that is both easy to read and packed with profoundly useful ideas expressed in an engaging and personalised style. How to Connect with Your Child is just such a book. It is at once both an easy-to-read “dip in, dip out” resource and a reference book that offers parents a useful and different lens through which to view the everyday dilemmas and struggles they encounter with their children regardless of the age of the child or young person.

Robin Ticic has that rare talent of being able to make complex ideas accessible in a way that is both personal to the reader and persuasive, as well as being compassionate about the tough job of being a parent. In this book, Robin offers numerous ideas for navigating parent-child relationships that empower both parents and children, at the same time as deepening their connection with one another.

It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words, so the repetition of the “picture” of the coloured Communications Matrix © throughout the text as a medium for the author’s message is compelling. The numerous exercises illustrating each idea on offer are specific and provide readers with opportunities both to come to a different understanding of a familiar relationship pattern and to try out the ideas based on real experiences with their children, as they are remembered or as they happen.

Particularly useful for getting to know how to use these ideas about what may be going on in parent-child relationships are the symbols—pictures, again, of a video camera for recording facts of any situation, a heart for noticing feelings about a situation, and arrows for focusing on outcomes—that accompany each exercise offered to illustrate how to use the presented idea. Repetitive use of these symbols means by the time readers reach the end of the book, these “pictures” will be like reliable, friendly signposts on a journey.

Of the many gold nuggets of wisdom throughout the book, one that for me sums up much of what readers are offered is the suggestion that it is more constructive to view uncomfortable emotions as a signal that something has to change rather than an indication of the emotions being wrong. Since my introduction to the first edition of Robin’s book How to Connect with Your Child, many parents and professionals I work with have found the matrix of great help, so I look forward to recommending this new edition to colleagues and clients alike.”

The author is currently working on a paperback edition as well as turning the book into an online course.

September 2015

I’m delighted to announce that the fourth edition of An Introduction to Family Therapy – Systemic Theory and Practice which I co-authored with Dr Rudi Dallos, has now been published.

This a brief extract from the Foreword – “I am both excited and delighted to welcome this lovely book, authored by Ros Draper and Rudi Dallos. They have made an enduring contribution to training in the systemic field with their clarity and commitment to systemic ideas and practice, and in leading some of the more recent theoretical and practice developments. The fourth edition builds on the strengths of the third edition, and expands the sections on working systemically with couples, self-reflexivity, formulation practice and the signal relevance of modern attachment theory, trauma theory and research.”

And an extract from the review published in the Journal of Family Therapy – “Like its previous editions, the fourth edition of Dallos and Draper’s introductory family therapy book will continue to be a valued resource for both students on family therapy training programmes and experienced professionals.”

February 2015

Such was the enthusiasm and success of the Coherence Therapy workshops I organised in 2014 that this year’s offering includes one more Introductory Day in May and two two day Intermediate Workshops one in May and one in October. Clearly you can ‘hear’ that I am persuaded of the importance of these ideas and I am encouraging colleagues in the helping professions to at least check out the free online resources of the ‘cutting edge’ ideas which are relevant to all the helping professions.

August 2014

I am posting here details of some free resources that will help you develop your understanding of these exciting new developments in our understanding of how our brains function.

Here are the links:

The first chapter of Unlocking the Emotional Brain

A recent article (March 2014 in The Therapist) on Memory Reconsolidation by Paul Sibson and Robin Ticic with a Coherence Therapy case example.

A 20-minute YouTube presentation on Memory Reconsolidation by Bruce Ecker one of the co-originators of Coherence Therapy.

Free online video introduction to Coherence Therapy created by Niall Geoghegan (California) and Simon d’Orsongna (Australia). It is a clear, simple, introductory explanation of the theory and practice of Coherence Therapy for therapists, coaches, educators, or anyone who asks, what is Coherence Therapy?

All good wishes Ros

May 2014

COHERENCE THERAPY may turn out to be the next new kid on the block my intuition says so but I am not always right of course!

Nevertheless the July workshops having ‘sold out’ quite quickly, I am pleased that Robin and Tor have agreed to present again in London this year and encourage you to look at the flyer below and if it resonates explore further these significant new developments for the world of psychotherapy via and decide whether you would like to attend the November workshops.

All good wishes Ros

February 2014

Following the details in my January posting of the Coherence Therapy workshops I am organizing in London in July, Paul Sibson whose article on the ‘Therapeutic Reconsolidation Process’appears in the March edition of Therapy Today has written a few lines for my February posting. Thank you Paul.

Facilitating Permanent Change in Psychotherapy

Memory Reconsolidation is the process whereby existing emotional memories stored in the limbic system are made available to new experiential learning and then permanently transformed or erased through the learning process.

Memory Reconsolidation is a 3-step sequence of events believed in neuroscience to be impossible until as recently as 2004! As at root the vast majority of clinical symptoms are emotional learning’s Memory Reconsolidation research has huge implications for the field of psychotherapy, both in regard to efficacy and cross-modality integration and has become known in psychotherapy as the ‘Therapeutic Reconsolidation Process’.

Delightfully this 3-step sequence had actually been observed and described in clinical practice by the founders of Coherence Therapy, Bruce Ecker and Laurel Hulley, over a decade before its actual discovery in the field of neuroscience. Indeed in its methodology and practice Coherence Therapy actually emerged from the authors studying and observing thousands of transformational moments in therapy. Thus it is the only therapeutic modality to-date specifically designed to be in alignment with what is now known about how Memory Reconsolidation occurs.

Wonderfully however the process of Memory Reconsolidationitself is not tied to any particular model of therapy, but is in fact theory independent because it is a native process of the brain itself. So as Memory Reconsolidation is the only as yet discovered form of neuroplasticity that can bring about deep lasting change, it is fair to infer that any therapeutic process that has achieved deep lasting change must be recruiting this very process. Psychotherapsists and counsellors who become familiar and fluent in the 3-step ’Therapeutic Reconsolidation Process’ can thus expect to enable deep lasting change to happen more frequently in their work with their clients.

(Paul Sibson, B.A., MBACP(Accred) is a primary care counsellor and private practitioner in Durham and Newcastle. He is the founder of Embodimind (

An in-depth article on the process of ‘Therapeutic Memory Reconsolidation’ and it’s implications for the field of therapy will appear in the March issue of Therapy Today. In this article a case study will be used to illustrate a full ‘Therapeutic Reconsolidation Process’ and describe how it can be routinely achieved in clinical practice.

Details of Coherence Therapy workshops in London in July can be found on the Coherence Therapy website ( or requested from

January 2014

For the start of 2014, here is an important book to read

Unlocking the Emotional Brain by Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic and Laurel Hulley

Psychotherapy that regularly yields liberating, lasting change was, in the last century, a futuristic vision, but it has now become reality, thanks to a convergence of remarkable advances in clinical knowledge and brain science. In Unlocking the Emotional Brain, authors Ecker, Ticic and Hulley equip readers to carry out focused, empathic therapy using the process found by researchers to induce memory reconsolidation, the recently discovered and only known process for actually unlocking emotional memory at the synaptic level. Emotional memory’s tenacity is the familiar bane of therapists, and researchers have long believed that emotional memory forms indelible learning. Reconsolidation has overturned these views. It allows new learning to erase, not just suppress, the deep, unconscious, intensely problematic emotional learnings that form during childhood or in later tribulations and generate most of the symptoms that bring people to therapy. Readers will learn methods that precisely eliminate unwanted, ingrained emotional responses—whether moods, behaviors or thought patterns—causing no loss of ordinary narrative memory, while restoring clients’ well-being. Numerous case examples show the versatile use of this process in AEDP, Coherence Therapy, EFT, EMDR and IPNB.

Below you will find details of two linked workshops:

Coherence Therapy

‘Utilizing the Brain’s Process for Dissolving Symptom-Generating Implicit Constructs’

Two exciting new workshops in Central London – Friday 11th and Saturday 12th July 2014<

Join workshop presenters Robin Ticic and Tor Wennerberg for a one-day or two-day workshop where you will learn more about the ground breaking principles underpinning Coherence Therapy(

Introductory Workshop (July 11th, 2014)

In the one day Introductory Workshop you will come to understand how Coherence Therapy dispels a wide range of problems and symptoms by dissolving their emotional roots. This involves using a guided process for accurately finding the specific emotional implicit constructs and schemas maintaining a symptom followed by a guided process of transformational change that nullifies those schemas, releasing their powerful grip and ending symptom production.

This process of transformational change is corroborated by neuroscience research findings on memory reconsolidation which is currently the only known process for erasing a specific implicit learning.

In this Introductory Workshop participants will learn the steps of methodology of Coherence Therapy

Intermediate Workshop (July 12th, 2014)

This is an intensive skills-building workshop during which participants will have the opportunity to do their own real sessions in small groups and develop their skills in the use of Coherence Therapy. Participants will be coached by Robin and Tor, offering live, in the moment feedback.

In order to attend the Intermediate Workshop participants need to attend the Introductory Workshop on Friday 11th July 2014, AND< to have familiarity with and experience of using Coherence Therapy with clients AND to have familiarity with the ‘Coherence Therapy Practice Manual’ or ‘Unlocking the Emotional Brain’ or ‘Depth Oriented Brief Therapy’.

November 2013

The Vibrant Relationship
A Weekend Workshop – Central London
8th and 9th March 2014

This two-day Workshop is designed for couples who want to focus both on deepening intimacy in their day to day life together as well as working on the challenges they experience in their relationship. The aim is to enable couples to develop a deeply satisfying relationship that is built on a realistic picture of one another and thus achieve a closer and more intimate relationship. In the workshop we focus on developing an understanding of the processes that contribute to our differences and frustrations.

Your relationship is our focus and we teach you how to work with the process we call the Dialogue of Acknowledgment. Our belief is that our early relationships profoundly influence our later couple relationships as our childhood ‘dramas’ surface in the context of our intimate adult relationships.

Ideas and skills will be presented through mini-lectures, video-clips, demonstrations, and exercises focusing on communication techniques and processes as well as through written work and exercises based on a detailed manual given to each workshop participant. Kirsten and Piet assisted by experienced couples’ therapists will provide plenty of support and encouragement for participants throughout the two days of the workshop.

Mini-lectures, video clips and demonstrations take place in the large group but all the exercises are completed privately by participants and shared only between partners in order to ensure a sense of safety and confidentiality throughout the workshop. From experience we know that the large group sessions provide a unique opportunity for sharing experiences, but at the same time we also stress that it is entirely at participants´ discretion to decide whether anything from the work done privately by partners is shared in the larger group.

July 2012

Following the publication in May 2011 of the English edition of The Vibrant Relationship authored by Kirsten Seidenfaden and Piet Draiby, I am delighted to be able to tell you this month that Kirsten and Piet are offering a couples workshop based on the material in their book in Central London October 20th and 21st 2012.

This two-day Workshop is designed for couples who want to focus both on deepening intimacy in their day to day life together as well as working on the challenges they experience in their relationship. The aim is to enable couples to develop a deeply satisfying relationship that is built on a realistic picture of one another and thus achieve a closer and more intimate relationship. In the workshop we focus on developing an understanding of the processes that contribute to our differences and frustrations.


Following the publication in May 2011 of the English edition of The Vibrant Relationship authored by Kirsten Seidenfaden and Piet Draiby, I am delighted to be able to tell you this month that Kirsten and Piet are offering a couples workshop based on the material in their book in Central London April 21st and 22nd 2012.

This two-day Workshop is designed for couples who want to focus both on deepening intimacy in their day to day life together as well as working on the challenges they experience in their relationship. The aim is to enable couples to develop a deeply satisfying relationship that is built on a realistic picture of one another and thus achieve a closer and more intimate relationship. In the workshop we focus on developing an understanding of the processes that contribute to our differences and frustrations.


Just in time for Christmas, a book

‘Towards the Sea – and then came the poetry by Jean Clark

Jean weaves together 85 years of living and 35 years of writing poetry into the tapestry of her journey ‘Towards the Sea’ . The poems were written in different decades, as she reflected upon her life experiences, but here they are grouped to illustrate her story:- early years; relationships family and friends; intimations of a spiritual journey; the ending of a marriage; experiences of love and loss; engaging with the world; and growing old and growing.

In his Foreword to the book, Brian Thorne writes:

“Her poetry pulses with the vibrancy of lived experience and intensifies that experience so that the reader is irresistibly drawn into an empathic resonance which touches into his or her own life.

‘How can I halve my heart/that once was given to you?’ she writes as she faces the pain of a disintegrating marriage and with those ordinary words she throws into stark relief the grief in every relationship which promises much and ends in tears. If some of these poems take us deep into Jean’s inner world, there are others which bring the daily news bulletins into shocking proximity: ‘Terror lurks at the corner of the street,/at the railway station,/in a café frequented by the young….’

Jean Clark is one of the outstanding therapists of her generation and she was profoundly influenced by Carl Rogers, whom she knew personally in the final decade of his eventful life”.

‘Towards the Sea’ (2011) is published by Raven Books, Ross-on-Wye

Copies are available from Jean Clark from 1 December, price £8.50 (plus £1.50 p&p), 
and can be ordered from her at: 
8 The Plantation
Christchurch Road

By email:

Tel: 01603 452965


Dessine-moi un mouton. Une question d’imaginaire

In the well loved story by Antoine de St Exupery, the Little Prince asks someone to draw him a sheep. He then contents himself with a box. For the Little Prince it is selfevident that the sheep is inside the box. This sheep meets his feeling and his need perfectly.

Here the imaginary is built out of principles and structures which link fantasy and reality: the given form contains the intimate ‘feel’ of things. By short-cutting ordinary logic, the imaginary locates our own, personal sense of the world. These workshops, suitable for all levels of artistic ability, invite you to engage with the notion of ‘the imaginary’ as a basis for your own creative exploration. Through a series of simple and playful propositions, we will draw, paint, build and define the space for worlds of our own in relation to ‘external reality’.

This creative experience will be enriched by discussions and reference to contemporary works of art. The 4 days will be shared between studio based working and engagement with the cultural realm, including slideshows of works of art (A)/Gallery visits (B). Both workshops will conclude with Lydia speaking as an artist about her own body of work.

Lydia Solana, Catalan by birth, is an exhibiting artist who has taught art for over 20 years in Lyon in France. With Masters and MPhil level qualifications, she has an open and enabling way of working which stimulates and brings out the best in everyone, regardless of ability, age, level of confidence and art making experience. Always an inspiration, Lydia’s workshops leave you feeling enlivened and newly acquainted with your own creative capacities.

Workshop A – December 24, 25 (yes), 26 and 27, 2011
Workshop B – December 28,29, 30 and 31, 2011
First three days from 9.30 – 6pm, last day 9.30 – 4pm
£275 per participant, to include basic art materials
Please send a cheque for £50 to The Guild of Psychotherapists before 1 December to reserve your place (max 10 participants).

47 Nelson Square, SE1 0QA
T: 0207 401 3260

JULY 2011

I would like to draw your attention to this important new book. John’s story will be useful for both sufferers and professionals.

‘When Ros asked me to write something about my book for her website I was happy to accept. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that I have something important to say and after fifteen years of telling myself that I was a failure and essentially unlikeable it’s great to have that affirmation.

‘I have worked with some brilliant healthcare professionals throughout my battle with my Anorexia, but in my experience the biggest experts are people like me, who have been through or are going through the mental hell that led me to seek help. Eating disorders, and Anorexia in particular, are such secretive illnesses that any amount of exposure can only help to loosen their grip. By speaking out I hope I can loosen that grip on my life.

Becoming John: Anorexia’s not just for Girls available from Xlibris Publishing and as a Kindle e-book from Amazon) details my fifteen-year ongoing battle with Anorexia Nervosa. I have used my inpatient diary entries with a detailed back story of the causes and consequences of my illness to try to illustrate what it feels like to live in the Anorexic bubble, consumed solely by the numbers on the scales. I hope that by publishing my story I can do my part to break down some of the barriers that still stop men in my position from coming forward and from receiving the treatment that is so important if recovery is to be attempted

JUNE 2011

Two new books in Systemic Thinking and Practice series which I have edited: The Vibrant Relationship and The Vibrant Familypublished by Karnac Books, London 2011.

A wonderful, patient and empowering teacher – aiming to get the best out of pupils by really understanding the issues that block learning processes. Without your time, care and personal commitment I would have never been able to unlock my full potential as a systematic thinker or practitioner, let alone to have the confidence to achieve an MSc. 

JR, London